Deserved Read online

  Deserved

  Satan’s Rebels MC Series (Book 3)

  Copyright©2014 Kira Johns

  Published by Kira Johns

  License Notes

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Table of Contents

  Acknowledgements

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Epilogue

  Message to Readers

  About Kira Johns

  Other Titles by Kira Johns

  Connect with Kira Johns

  Acknowledgements

  Once again, there are so many people I need to thank for helping me complete my latest journey.

  To my husband, you have been my rock and source of inspiration. Without your support, I don’t think I could have completed this book. I love you, baby!

  To my children, as always, thank you for being so understanding.

  To the fans of the Satan’s Rebels MC series that have sent me emails and messages, thank you! Your support pushed me to continue this story.

  Lynette Benjamin, my beta reader and editor: You are the first one I turn to each and every time. You offer insight and honesty, which absolutely admire. You are fabulous!

  Nikki Hart, your encouragement got me through some rough humps. Thank you for not only beta reading, but listening to me rant and rave over this book. I couldn’t do it without you.

  Lisa Felipe of Tasty Book Tours, as always you are a rock star! Thank you for your insight and suggestions.

  Monica Langley Holloway, thank you for all of your assistance and support. You were the ultimate reader, offering your reactions to each chapter. I couldn’t have done it without you!

  Prologue

  Jade

  I stand in front of the bathroom mirror staring at my reflection. How could this be happening? I couldn't go through this alone. There isn’t a doubt in my mind as to what I should do. I have to tell him. No matter how he feels about me, he deserves to know the truth.

  Taking in a deep breath, I march into the bedroom and grab my phone off the nightstand. Scrolling through the numbers, I click on his name and press the phone to my ear. It rings once, then twice before a female voice answers on the other end. “Hello?”

  I immediately second guess my decision and quickly hit the end call button. There is no way he would believe me anyway, so why waste my breath. I toss my phone on the bed and collapse beside it. I can do this, I tell myself.

  Who am I trying to kid? The thought of going through this pregnancy and birth alone was terrifying me. Before, I had Viper and Shadow. The two most important people in my life and neither of them were here for me now. For the first time in a very long time, I truly felt alone. Bringing another child into this world without his or her father around wasn't an option. I know what I should do, but the thought alone makes me sick to my stomach.

  Grabbing my phone, I scroll down to Tank’s name and press call. When he answers, I am about to ask him if he will come for a visit, really needing his support, but quickly change my mind. I need to do this alone. Shadow is the only one who should be here for this and he’s not. He hated me and thought I was a whore.

  I greet Tank like I normally would and begin telling him how great everything is at my new place. He thinks nothing of the lies I tell him, as I go on and on about my new job.

  When I hang up the phone, I curl up on my bed and cry. When my tears finally die down, I pull out my laptop and search for the nearest clinic. When I call and make an appointment for three weeks from now, I feel my heart breaking, knowing what I need to do.

  ***

  Three Weeks Later

  Walking towards the entrance to the clinic, I am moving in slow motion. My legs feel heavier with each step I take until I reach the double doors. The reflection staring back at me is that of someone I don't even recognize.

  The door suddenly opens and I step to the side as I watch a woman exit. Her expression isn't filled with regret as she strides to her car with confidence. I spot a bench near the doorway and make my way over to it, sitting down on the wooden slats.

  Burying my face in my hands, I lean over and fight back the nausea that hits me suddenly. “I don’t know what to do,” I say aloud, not caring that strangers passing by are looking at me like I'm crazy.

  I thought I had this all figured out, but now I was second guessing my decision. I had three options that all seemed so simple yet were the most agonizingly painful to make. Closing my eyes, I breathe in deeply and slowly exhale. Rising to my feet, I do the only thing I can.

  Stepping inside the double doors, I walk up to the receptionist and patiently wait for her to hang up the phone. Smiling at me, she points to the sign in sheet on the clipboard in front of me. “Sign in and have a seat.”

  “Actually, I need to cancel my appointment,” I tell her. “My name is Jade Moore.”

  She nods at me knowingly. “No problem.”

  Turning on my heel, I walk out the front door never looking back. It was simple. No matter what Shadow believed, our night together had meaning, at least to me. I couldn’t end this child’s life. I was strong and I could do this on my own.

  Chapter One

  Jade

  Five Years Later

  Stepping outside the back door of Club 450, I pull my jacket tightly around me. Normally, Shane would have walked out with me as he has every night since we’ve been working together, but he was still in a meeting with Doug and I was too exhausted to wait on him. Ten hours on your feet tends to do that, especially on a Friday night when you are going nonstop.

  Rushing across the parking lot, I make my way to my car that is parked in the far corner of the lot and climb inside. Starting up the engine, I turn the heat onto high and wait only a few minutes before pulling out of the parking lot towards home.

  As soon as I pull into the driveway, the porch light comes on and Natalie steps outside, her purse in hand. She descends the steps quickly as I get out of the car,
coming to a stop a few feet from me.

  “Good night?” I ask, hoping that Blake didn't give her too much hell.

  “Quiet night, actually. He was out by seven.”

  I reach into my pocket and pull out the cash I had set aside for her earlier. “I’m glad,” I tell her as I pass the money to her. “Can you come again tomorrow night if Ms. Phillips is still feeling under the weather?”

  “No problem,” she says as she shoves the cash into her pocket. “I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. Have a good night!”

  She is in her car and pulling out of the driveway before I have even made it to the top step. Stepping inside, I shrug off my jacket and toss it on the chair along with my purse. I’ll worry about picking it up tomorrow morning, but for now, all I want to do is soak in a hot bath and go to bed.

  After locking the front door, I make my way down the narrow hallway, stopping outside of Blake’s room. Peeking inside, I see he is sound asleep, one arm curled around the stuffed pig Tank had brought him during his last visit, and Bethany curled around the other. I cannot contain the smile on my face as I look at both of them.

  Blake is the spitting image of Viper, from his almost black hair to his piercing gray eyes. Bethany is the complete opposite, with her blonde locks and bright blue eyes, she is one hundred percent her father’s daughter. Smiling, I close the door gently, trying not to wake them.

  Regret fills me as I make my way further down the narrow hall toward my room. This is not how I pictured my life, not in a million years. I had dreams. I should be married and living in Rockingham, not raising two children alone.

  When Viper died, a part of me died along with him. That missing piece could never be replaced. Even now, I was torn between the only two men I have ever loved. One had left me forever but would always be in my heart. The other wanted nothing to do with me or our child.

  Being a single mom, working nights in a bar, and trying to make ends meet was hard, but somehow I was managing. I had two beautiful children that meant the world to me. They were reminders of a happier time.

  When I first arrived in Raleigh, I thought this was my chance to start over. A month later, I discovered I was pregnant and my world came crashing down. Shadow was no longer a part of my life and I was far away from the only family I knew. I was terrified just thinking about going through it alone. I should have known that wouldn’t be the case. Tank, Spike and Maze had been a part of our lives, helping me in any way they could. The only thing missing was Shadow.

  Sinking down into the hot bathtub, I try to push away all thoughts of Shadow, but it is no use. I think about him every day, wishing things had been different for us. I let out a sigh as I sink down into the hot water and close my eyes, relishing in the warmth that surrounds me.

  A half hour later, I lift myself out of the tub, feeling refreshed but even more exhausted. I need a night off; I tell myself as I dry off my body and pull on my shorts and tank top. That wouldn't happen anytime soon, not with rent due next week, along with the electric bill. I was still a couple hundred short, so a night off was unthinkable at this point.

  It had been easier financially when Matt was here with me, but I was glad he was no longer a part of our lives. I first met him when I was pregnant with Bethany. He was a regular at the club, usually sitting at my end of the bar. We made small talk for months, but it was when I started showing that our friendship really developed. He was such a nice guy, always asking how I was doing and even bringing me crackers to help with the nausea. When my pregnancy progressed and it was obvious to everyone that I wasn’t just a fat ass, he asked me out on a date. I was taken aback that he would want to go out with a woman who was obviously pregnant with another man’s child, and after asking me about ten times, I finally agreed.

  Our first date was a memorable one. Dinner, movies, and ice cream. The night ended with him taking me to the hospital when I began hemorrhaging, Placenta Previa, the doctors had called it. I was terrified. Matt stayed with me the entire time, even offering to come take care of me when the doctor ordered me on bed rest.

  Two months of lying around doing nothing was hard, but Matt made it easier. Against my objections, Matt came over every day and took care of Blake and me. He bought groceries, cooked dinner and even played with Blake. When I was released from bed rest, he continued to come around.

  When Bethany was born, he showed up at the hospital offering me support. He was hurt when I only wanted Tank in the room with me, and I thought he had gotten the hint. We were just friends, and nothing more. But he didn’t give up.

  After Bethany and I were released from the hospital, Matt showed up at the house. Over the course of several months, he forced himself into our daily lives and slowly I started to accept his presence. Soon, he became a semi-permanent fixture in our household.

  I should have seen the signs. His feelings for me were ones I couldn't return. The first time he told me he loved me, I panicked. He saw my reaction and told me it was alright, that I would eventually learn to love him.

  His protectiveness of us soon turned into jealousy. He hated my working at the club, saying I deserved to work in an environment where I wasn’t treated like a piece of meat. My refusal to quit had angered him, and that was the first time he struck me. It should have been the last, but it wasn't. Not because I was OK with his treatment of me, but because no one would help me.

  I called the police, wanting him arrested. The officer who came out refused to file a report on his colleague, leaving my house telling me I was an ungrateful bitch. Matt returned to the house a few hours later acting as though nothing had happened and when I told him to get out, he apologized. I wasn't one of those weak women who nodded my head and accepted his apology. No, I told him it was over. To my surprise, he left, only to return a week later. I can still remember waking up to him lying in bed beside me as if this is where he belonged.

  Again, I tried to call the police and the officer that came out told me there was nothing he could or would do for me. According to him, this was his legal residence, even though the lease was in my name only and he had never moved in a single item. Hell, I had never even slept with him.

  I knew he would never leave on his own, and with nowhere else to turn, I packed up mine and the kid’s belongings and headed back to Rockingham, to Tank and the club knowing they would take us in.

  I was pulled over by the cops before I even made it ten miles, being told that my car had been reported stolen. After arguing with the officer for a good twenty minutes, showing him proof the car was mine, Matt pulled up in his patrol car and took over.

  “If you ever think of leaving me again, I will bring down your brother and his entire club.”

  This didn't deter me. Matt may have had power in Raleigh, but not in Rockingham and there was no way he could touch my brother or the Satan’s Rebels. That had been mistake number two, the first being me allowing Matt into our lives in the first place.

  A week later, after acting like things were back to normal between us, I planned our getaway again. Everything was packed and beside the door when he walked in unexpectedly. He was outraged by my “disobedience,” vowing to make me pay.

  And pay I did, with a broken arm, one hell of a black eye, and bruises covering my body. It was of no consequence. I had been beaten far worse for far less, and nothing he could do would keep me from leaving. Until he sent me the booking sheet where my brother, Spike and Maze had all been picked up on drug charges. I realized his pull knew no boundaries at that very moment, but I still refused to give up hope.

  Over the course of several weeks, he managed to cut my ties to the club completely, changing the number on my phone and blocking every one of my contacts at the MC from calling. He disabled my car so I couldn't go anywhere unless he took me, and even turned in my notice at the club. I was literally trapped in my own home.

  Completely alone and scared for the safety of myself and my children, I did the only thing I knew to do. I called Doug, the owner of the club.
I knew Doug had connections and hoped that he could help me, especially since he already disliked Matt.

  Doug had been a father figure to me since I had arrived and when I told him what was going on, he stepped in to help. His connections at the police department were higher up than Matt’s and they started looking into it. He took me and the kids into his home so that we were safe.

  Matt was relieved of duty pending the investigation, and knowing I was behind it angered him even more. He caught me outside of Doug’s house one afternoon, and the beating I received landed me in the hospital for a week. In return, Matt had been arrested and charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature and bond was denied.

  Even better news was that Tank, Spike and Maze’s charges had been dropped last week due to lack of evidence and all three were back home, safe. I apologized to Tank because this had been my doing, but he brushed it off, telling me it wasn't the first time he’s been in the slammer and definitely wouldn't be the last.

  Tank wanted me to come home, especially after everything that has happened. I gave it a lot of thought, and although it was a tempting offer, I couldn't. Shadow was there, and I couldn't face him because deep down, I still loved him, yet I hated him at the same time.